Archive for December, 2011

Santa is better than Jesus

December 27, 2011

I mean, if you have to have an invisible friend, i choose Santa.

First off, who has the better beard? Winner: Santa.

And who looks like they are having more fun? Yup.

Go ahead, chose one;  The jolly guy bringing gifts, or the skinny guy with anger management issues kicking over the lender’s tables?

Santa is pretty simple, really.  Naughty or nice.   And he doesn’t go on and on about which is which because most of us already know the difference.

None of this ” no sleeping with the donkey of thy neighbor or you will be stoned to death” stuff.

Nice equals gift.  Naughty  equals no gift.

And is no gift really so bad?  Because even if Santa skips your house, there are always sales the next day.

Plus he lives at the North Pole.  So there is no fighting over his birthplace like in Jerusalem because no one wants to actually live at the North Pole.

And he has a wife.  Not that there is anything wrong with not having one, or anything. But you have to wonder a little about the other guy.

Plus, let’s compare their 12 man posses.

One posse has 11  drinking buddies and one snitch

The other posse has twelve singing reindeer! Way more fun. And even though one of them is  all lit up, he can still drive all night long!

And finally, I know some of you don’t believe in one or both of our contestants.

Sure, there is no actual proof for either one.

But one guy died then skipped town never to be seen again. The other at least has a Norad site every year to track his whereabouts in real time.

All I know is I put out the cookies and milk before i go to bed on christmas eve and in the morning they are gone.

Pretty convincing i’d say.

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