Archive for October, 2012

The Worriers

October 27, 2012


Nothing suggests the expression ” first world problem” for me like walking through whole foods.

Man, Gentry sure is scared.

There are dangers lurking everywhere.

How many of you wake up thinking ” I sure feel oxidized today”?

Don’t worry, there are rows of containers here containing ” anti oxidants”.

Every year they discover new ones!

One year it’s cranberries, so let’s stuff them into everything. Next year it’s on to blueberries, small red beans, prunes, pomegranites, and so on.

After some study noticed that coconuts have good nutritional properties, loads of products showed up with coconut juice.

You could just eat a coconut, but thats  just not efficient enough for some people.

And how many of you lay awake at night thinking ” I need more biotics”?

You can avoid that by selecting from stacks of bottles containing “probiotics”?

Other potential death traps include gluten, wheat, salt, meat, soy, corn,  hormones, pesticides, lactose, and all number of things that cause allergies.

Apparently, many here are also concerened with their brains, as there are many products here that address various brain deficiencies.

They are often named after whatever you are worried about like ” virilty” “concentration” ‘flexability”

Also enjoy all the products that use the word “guilt free” on the packaging.  I suspect people in guatemala don’t spend a lot of time feeling guilty  about any kind of food they can mamage to  find.

How do people in other parts of the world even  survive long enough to reproduce so that our species can continue?

Fortunately, one subset, wealthy neurotics, are taking action.


Attack of the Water Bottles

October 25, 2012


Or, as George Carlon said, ” when did Americans get so thirsty”?

This photo show maybe a third of the bottles they sell at this store.

People where i live are obsessed with carrying these things around. First it was the plastic ones, then they were “unhealthy”,

so everyone switched to these. I’m sure there will something “wrong” with these later on.

You need these because you have to drink 8 glasses of water a day because…. uh why?

Because somebody once made that up and people have been repeating it ever since.

Seriously, there is no magic amount of water you need.

If you are thirsty, drink.

If not, don’t.

Food has a lot of water in it, too.  Well, except maybe cheetos.

Sure, water fountains are starting to go the way of the phone booth, but still, do you need to drink every half hour?

maybe if you are running a marathon in the desert.  Or maybe not.

I love the stories of the apaches having these 2 day races where they run through these desert canyons with a mouthful of water, then spit out the water at the end. Kind of macho, but you get the point.

They were barefoot, by the way, so much for “needing” the latest hi tech Nike shoes.

This is just another example of how infantilized  americans have become. They clutch these things like a talisman as if to ward off their fears like a baby with a bottle of formula.

Of course it’s  better than the super sized sugar water that has become our favorite beverage.

50 years ago, water was the number one  followed by milk and coffe.

I was in europe this summer for a bit and didnt see a single one of these water bottles.

Is everyone in europe going to die of thirst soon?

Maybe we should drop them out of planes over third world countries?

Maybe bin laden would be alive if he had  had one.